


solis

by neradia3



Series: soulmates and cosmic love -- rosabel [1]
Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Car Ride, Episode 2x11, F/F, Isobel doesn't really know what she wants, Isobel is really really selfish but she's aware of that, Some angst, Soulmate AU, and denial, cosmic love, i feel like this is all over the place but that might just be me, kind of, lots of conflicting feelings, mentions of rehab, rosabel, same star universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-07
Updated: 2021-01-07
Packaged: 2021-03-15 11:08:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28562538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neradia3/pseuds/neradia3
Summary: Look, I know we've just started patching things up between us, but there are some times where I feel like you're my center. Like you're the sun, and I'm just foolishly circling around you. We're connected, you and I, and there's no escaping that.or...After breaking Rosa out of rehab, Isobel contradicts how she feels about Rosa.
Relationships: Isobel Evans/Rosa Ortecho
Series: soulmates and cosmic love -- rosabel [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2056509
Comments: 2
Kudos: 4





	solis

It's just her and Rosa, alone in her car, driving further and further away from the rehab facility Rosa was staying at. Isobel can only see the road ahead of her, shrouded in the dark that the moon brings when the sun fades away for the day. She's trying hard to not pull her eyes away from the road to look at Rosa, admire her as she watches the empty desert go by out the side window. 

She spent the whole day with her, learned something new about Rosa, and now she's breaking her out of rehab. Where did the time go?

It's going by too fast for Isobel to keep up. 

She grips tightly onto the wheel. "You know, despite my bad girl reputation, I'm actually not on board with breaking you out of rehab. So... if you can please make that clear to Liz." Isobel glimpses at Rosa. 

"Look, my mom is missing. Okay?" Rosa's gaze leaves the desert to meet with Isobel's. "She could be one of the abducted. Maybe she was leaving Roswell, on her way out of town, and something happened. I don't..." She exhales. "I don't know."

Isobel considers the idea. From what Rosa has told Isobel, it seems like all Helena does is leave. She wouldn't be surprised if she left again, but this time she was possibly abducted. Dirk, Helena's new boyfriend, only expressed fear and anger when Rosa called, immediately assuming that Helena was taken, kidnapped, abducted. "Yeah. Maybe."

"Or maybe she's bailing on her family," Rosa says in a quiet, but frustrated tone, "like she bailed on her old one. Look, this is not an excuse to leave rehab, okay? I just want to find out that she's okay. Then I'm gonna go right back."

Isobel scoffs. "Sure, Jan." 

"I literally only have a week left. I might as well practice being sober sooner than later."

"You..." Isobel parts her lips, feeling her stomach drop, the feeling when the rollercoaster finally goes down after climbing up for so long. She peels her foot off the gas pedal a little as her eyes shift from the road to Rosa. It feels like minutes that she's staring at her, taking in what she has just said, but it's barely a few seconds because she knows she has to keep her attention on the road. She doesn't want to crash. Yet, something inside of her definitely did crash. 

Isobel shakes her head, a low hum leaving her lips as she slows down. 

Rosa wants to go back to rehab. She wants to stay longer. Isobel has put those pieces together. And as much as Isobel is happy that Rosa wants to get better, she can't stand the idea of not being able to see Rosa for more than she already hasn't. Days. Weeks. Months. Without Rosa.

God, I'm so fucking selfish, Isobel thinks, mentally kicking herself for putting herself first, putting what _she_ wants first. What she wants? Rosa to stay in Roswell. To stay with Isobel. And Isobel doesn't know why she wants that. All she knows is that she does.

"You want to stay... longer?" Isobel asks almost in a whisper. 

Rosa chuckles. "I want to stay until I'm better."

Isobel flinches, stung by what feels like a ray of reality. It's a reality that Isobel isn't sure she wants to face. "Right. Of course. That's great, Rosa."

Hearing the uncertainty in Isobel's voice, Rosa continues on. "I was given a second chance for a reason, Isobel. I'm not gonna mess that up. I'm doing this for myself, for Liz and Maria. For you, Isobel. Understand that?"

 _For you, Isobel._ Those words just keep circling around in Isobel's head, haunting her, but it's a good type of haunting. Rosa wants to get better _for Isobel._ She's choosing this _for Isobel_. It's not just about Rosa herself, she's trying for the people she loves, and she's including Isobel in that. Just from that, Isobel knows now that she means a lot to Rosa; their friendship is important to her. 

But the word, friendship, stings a bit on Isobel's tongue. She's not sure she likes the word anymore. She can't stomach it, at least whenever she thinks of Rosa. It's different with Rosa somehow. There's a bubbling in Isobel's chest that she can't exactly comprehend--something fuzzy, but alive and real. As a result, everything hurts.

Isobel slams on the breaks, and she doesn't care that she stops the car in the middle of the road. No one's on it anyway, just them, just her and Rosa, so it doesn't matter, does it?

Rosa jerks forward at Isobel's sudden motion and glares at her. "What the hell was that for? Why'd you stop? And by the way, you could've warned me."

"I'm sorry." Isobel shakes her head before burying it in the steering wheel. "There's just too much going on in my head right now. I can't... focus."

Rosa scoffs. "Wow, what a mood."

"Rosa," Isobel growls. 

"Oh." Rosa unbuckles herself and turns towards Isobel. "Are you okay?"

Isobel exhales. "I don't... I don't know. I'm happy for you, Rosa, I really am, but there's something nagging at me and I just don't know--"

"You know, Izzie? If you're worried about missing me, you know you can always visit like you did today." Rosa rests her hand by Isobel's shoulder, rubbing gentle circles. Sometimes, her hand would stop, but her thumb would brush along the leather of Isobel's coat. 

There's that fuzziness again, a fuzziness Isobel doesn't know she craves. It rests steadily in her stomach, sometimes flutters around, pulls her into a high like a buzz. But it's not the drunk kind of high. Whatever it is, it's confusing her. 

Isobel looks out the window at the nothingness that is the dark. What if she feels like that, this nothingness, when Rosa leaves again? She can make other people fill in those gaps, right?

She straightens herself and clears her throat. She snaps out of this trance, climbs out of the water that was holding her down. She finds the gas pedal and presses down on it. Good thing she does because there is a car driving up behind them. "Really, Rosa?" Her snarkiness comes back. She wonders then if Rosa was the one holding her down in the water, if Rosa was the rock tied to her ankle. "I'm not gonna..." Isobel pauses for a moment to glance at the woman sitting next to her. She shakes her head, and her eyes return to the road. "I didn't visit you today because I missed you, okay? All I wanted to do was--"

"Find yourself in my art. Yeah, yeah. I know." Rosa buckles herself as she realizes that the car is moving again and crosses her arms. "But that doesn't mean you didn't miss me. I missed you."

Rosa missed her? "What about Liz?"

"Of course I missed Liz. Gosh, we still have so much catching up to do. Ten years is a long time, Izzie." Rosa sighs. "Look, I know we've just started patching things up between us, but there are some times where I feel like you're my center. Like you're the sun, and I'm just foolishly circling around you. We're connected, you and I, and there's no escaping that."

"Because of Noah?" Isobel winces, and her car swerves a little bit, but she quickly gets it back under control. 

"It's not just Noah, Isobel, and you know that. You feel it, too, don't you?"

Isobel leaves Rosa in silence, only the car's ambiance filling it. What does Rosa mean by that? she asks herself. Being connected with her, a connection that goes beyond what happened with Noah. Is that what that is? How she felt, no, feels, so weighed down when Rosa told her that she wants to go back to rehab? The nothingness that she fears she'll feel when Rosa's gone? Empty, like a husk? A body without a soul? 

"No. I don't."


End file.
